Because it’s still too early to start worrying about those May flowers …

· Abigail (teenport.com)
· Brandi Lee (novoporn.com)
· Demi and Celda (labatidora.net)
· Devin and Stracy (erotic-port.hu)

· Gina (dachix.com)
· Iman (baberoad.com)
· Jenny (babesdump.net)
· Jenya (kindgirls.com)

· Jessica (johndx.com)
· Michelle (babeslog.net)
· Ruby (glossybabes.com)
· Sandra (models.ph)

· Svetik (babesdiary.com)
· Teri Weigel (bustyandsexy.net)
· Tiffany Brookes (babeskickass.com)
· Vanessa (funberry.com)

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Previously: Best of Babelogs Archives

We don’t want to tell stepparents how to raise their lazy, ungrateful children, but if your college student is having trouble keeping up with his studies there are better ways to get him back in line than this. Isn’t the general idea to punish misbehavior and only reward the positive stuff? If this keeps up, this kid will never open another book in his life. Then again, we’re trusting the uploader of this video for a proper translation of the scenario. For all, we know the guy just aced the SATs … and if he did, he could not be receiving a better prize.

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· “Stepmother fucks her Son for not doing his Homework” (RedTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Jesse Jane, Tera Patrick, and Stormy Daniels will host the three-day fan convention Exxxotica: Miami this weekend, joining everyone from Ron Jeremy (of course) to Jenna Haze, Eva Angelina, Bree Olson, Kayden Kross, Joanna Angel, Nautica Thorn, Moxxie Maddron, Roxy DeVille, the saucy Lisa Sparxxx, Donna Doll, and Taylor Wane to romp at the “erotic event” that could only happen at the Miami Beach Convention Center. Speaking of erotic, “Girls Gone Wild” will be there, too (now that the tax deadline has passed).

In director Francois Clousot’s “Oracle”, Wicked contract star Kaylani Lei does more than just peer deeply into a crystal ball—she takes on several sets of the not-crystal kind and shows the guys they’re attached to just what kind of sweet sex magic she has at her disposal. As far as we can tell, the movie involves Brooke Banner, Roxy DeVille, Brooke Haven, Evan Angelina, Ryder Skye, and Barret Blade battling the dark forces from the underworld and coming up with an entirely unprecedented way to pay for passage across the river Styx; in the end only the soul whose heart is fully drained of lust (and other bodily fluids) is judged worthy to enter the afterlife. Or something like that.

We may be dim on the finer plot points, but we predict that you’ll find an “Oracle” preview gallery after the jump. Let us know if we’re wrong, OK?

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· Order “Oracle” (Adult DVD Empire)
· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

Mary Roach’s “Bonk” (not to be confused with this or this) takes a look at the research of sexual physiology—in other words, what’s really going on with our bodies when we fuck, and believe it or not no one really knows for sure. From Leonardo Da Vinci’s “coital interlocking” theory to the frustrated egg breakers of today, lots of people have tried and failed to figure out exactly how Bolt A fits into Slot B. The latest attempt involves 4-D ultrasound movies that can look inside us in real time, and it also involves Mary and her husband, who became the first sexual guinea pigs to be filmed internally while getting it on. She can explain the whole thing better in the video below, and though it may seem a little dry we promise you’ll be rewarded with some hot 4-D porn if you watch the whole thing. (Unfortunately, like most ultrasounds, you still need a doctor to tell you where the penis is. Still!)

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· Sex Research (slatev.com, via dailybedpost.com)
· Buy: Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex (amazon.com)

And speaking of horny Japanese people today, a porn producer, two actors, and his crew were arrested in Japan for shooting a gonzo scene inside a McDonald’s. Making matters worse, the employees making Big Macs were asked to hold the “special sauce.” (japantoday.com)

Once again we marvel at the wonder that is Japanese television, even though we’re sure that this penis pump demonstration before an all-female live studio audience is a clip from a porn video and not an actual TV show. Still, we’d probably watch “The View” a lot more if we could expect features like this. (Them again, the prospect of Joy Behar on her knees demonstrating a penis pump isn’t something we really want to think about.) (video @ yourfilehost.com, via Your Dirty Mind)

If you’ve been counting the days until Brodie Sinclair’s long-awaited bottoming debut, you’ll be glad to know that we received (another!) press release today reminding us that it goes live on Cockyboys.com tomorrow … which means you can use that hand you’ve been using to count with for other things. Isn’t it great the way these things work out? (cockyboys.com)

We might be the ones with the kinky reputation in the extended Gawker Media family, but it was our science fiction-huffing siblings at io9 who discovered the surreal and not unincidentally sexy work of fantasy artist Richard Kadrey, whose Kaos Beauty Klinik is a strange and lovely place full of masked tempstresses, auto-erotic fantasy babes, and all sorts of hot tentacle-on-girl action. While we’re glad to have other folks in the office sharing our beat, we have to warn them that posting pictures of topless women in gas masks and plastic wrap isn’t all fun and games—before they know it, they’re totally going to be sitting at the Weird Table with us at the next family get together.

· Cthulhu In Love: The Fetish Art of Richard Kadrey (io9.com)
· Kaos Beauty Klinik (kaosbeautyklinik.com)

There are few girls more ubiquitous on the babelog circuit than blonde bombshell Hannah Hilton: she’s posed for just about every nude modeling site since emerging on the scene as a Penthouse Pet in 2006, but to this point she’s limited her repertoire to nude modeling. Well, word has just come down the pike that Hannah is moving on up to the deluxe hardcore apartment in the sky after filming her first boy/girl scene with real-world boyfriend ack Venice. The scene is not yet available—we hear it was shot for one the Brazzers sites—but her legion of online fans are already hoping that she gets over her possible second thoughts (”I think I’m more of a softcore porn girl,” she says.) and makes this more than a one-time lark. No matter what happens, we’ll always have babelogs! She how she handles her day job below.

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· Hanna Hilton Eases Her Way Into Hardcore Porn (thenaughtyamerican.com — thanks A!)
· Hannah Hilton Galleries: here, here, here, here (aziani.com + tittybattle.com + nsfwmodels.com + brazzers.com; more @ kellyfind.com + askjolene.com)